Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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