The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize