I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
