Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
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