You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
