this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
