THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
