U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
