i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
