Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
The air was thick with penises
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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