soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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