U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Randomize