things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize