is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.