Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
That accounts for only three of the penises
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.