not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
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