She announced her abortion via fbk
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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