Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
