i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize