I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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