just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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