There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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