i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
