can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
