he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
