i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
