That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
