Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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