How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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