dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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