I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize