All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
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Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
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DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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