we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
