I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize