I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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