it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
