'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
