He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Randomize
