Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
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she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
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Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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