Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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