ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
