he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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