i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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