I want to walk on stilts...naked
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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