Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
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