For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
