Only a mothe r could love this liver
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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