have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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