Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
