Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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