just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
