Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I just had sex on a roof
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
