when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
third nipple confirmed
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
