I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
