Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize