allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I think a kid would responsible me up
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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