Where did you get a picture of my penis
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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