garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
