someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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