I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I will be naked everywhere
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
