the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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